It’s made to sound like Canadians are a bland and unexpressive lot. This is hardly the case. Politeness shouldn’t be conflated with absence of strongly-held ideas. The vast influx of immigrants comprising more than half of its population beginning in the 50s has within a generation transformed into a dynamic progressive society, It’s no longer the bastion of the Anglo settlers and the Quebecois have been given their due. The right wing populism of the Blue States has no similar counterpart in Canada where even the conservatives in the Lockean sense are far more informed and enlightened and refer to themselves as progressive.
Lifelong Canadian here. I still hope that Canada is the future.
One suggestion about adapting here: learn to love the landscape - summer, fall, winter, spring - not for its expansiveness (a la Texas or Montana) but for its beauty and steadfastness.
I lived in Ontario for not quite 6 years. Moved up there from the Southern US. I noticed several of the things that you mentioned above and also a few others. When it comes to citizens' views of “common good” types of initiatives, the US attitude is largely “why should we?” whereas the Canadian attitude is closer to “why wouldn’t we?” I think the US could learn a lot from Canada in that regard.
However, there are also a few differences that swing more in US’s favor. Canadian politeness often comes across as performative in the sense that they’re always walking on egg shells, terrified of speaking their minds and telling you what they really think, lest they mildly offend someone. Getting a Canadian to be honest and direct with you (i.e., tell you what they really think, give valuable but critical feedback, etc.) is like pulling teeth with a pair of flimsy tweezers. Very frustrating at times.
Related to that point, another difference I noticed between the South (US) and Canada: Southerners are friendly, but not always nice (total strangers will chat you up wherever you go, but they also have no problem telling you exactly what they think). Canadians are nice, but they’re not always friendly (this goes back to the performative aspect; the politeness seems more ritualistic than sincere, and there's often not much attempt to connect on a more human, personable level outside of the ritualistic politeness).
Hi Shane, and thanks for sharing your take on life in Ontario and Canada. In the USA, the attitude is basically very individualistic, and they will only help out when it is convenient for them. In here, it is both for community interest and for personal benefits as an added plus.
The performative aspect is more about being presentable, and they are more likely to open up once they trust and know you better. Justin Trudeau is a really bad example of a performative Canadian, as someone who looks good on camera but stops caring once the media moves on. Whereas Americans tend to open up at first, and then speak their mind after knowing you.
It is annoying at times, but I have to treat everyone as a friendly acquaintance rather than a friend at this stage. That could change in time as people get to know each other or not. Sadly, I got used to the revolving door of friends after living in NYC and HK.
Is NYC the only place in the US that you've lived for any extended period of time? If so...it is a very poor representation of the overall US. I have also lived/worked there and it is completely its own world and largely divorced from typical American life and from the personalities/attitudes of typical Americans.
As a Quebecker (bilingual French Canadian, if you prefer), I must admit that your analysis is very good and most interesting. It struck me when you mentioned that “Canada runs on bureaucracy and paperwork matters.” I wonder what could be said about France, Italy, and other European countries that are so much more intense in this regard. In any case, I prefer this image of us to that of the United States, which is, according to what we hear, a country of lawsuits and lawyers for every little thing. Allow me to sing my own praises and add that Montreal is the capital of arts and culture, a refuge for many artists from the rest of Canada (known as the ROC), social justice, and living together! Warm regards to you and welcome to our world!
I grew up in Canada (81-95) before my family moved to the states. I moved back from 07-10 and then found my way back to the states and now I am considering returning home. A very timely read and find on substack. You've got yourself a new subscriber!
Thanks, and I grew up in Canada in the mid-80s before moving to the US for personal reasons in the 90s. Then moved to HK not long after the GFC and moved back to Canada a few years ago. I reckon the bigger transition is shifting away from an American cultural mindset into one that is more open-minded, if not distinctly Canadian. It means looking out for neighbours as an individual and ditching the cruel and arrogant mentality.
We have lived in Canada all summer this year. Love it! I summered here throughout most of my childhood, and it is my dream fulfilled to do it again. It's tricky to compare Canada and the US, since both are vast countries with many different sub-cultures, plus both have rural, suburban, and urban areas. Here's my experience coming from suburban Virginia to small-town Nova Scotia.
I appreciate the appreciation of all cultures.
The small-town culture was frustrating at first because we arrived on a Friday. We couldn't buy a chair or a lawn mower for 2 days so we had no place to sit or walk. However, once we got used to that, we knew to prepare for the weekend ahead of time. Now we know to arrive on a weekday so we can buy groceries.
We also learned the hard way that nothing gets shipped to you outside of Amazon, so not to buy online. Even tho the local stores don't carry very much, it's faster to buy local, let them order it, and pick it up twice a week, than to believe the promises of online retailers that tell you it will arrive tomorrow. We slept on the floor for 2 weeks while, putting their name out there, Sleep Country, told me daily that my mattress was arriving "tomorrow." "Buy Local" isn't just a slogan, it's a necessity.
The biggest difference I noticed in laws was in trash removal and healthcare.
I appreciate the concern for the environment. I cringed when I came back to Virginia to find cashiers packing groceries in plastic bags. In Nova Scotia, it may not be necessary to take a college class to learn how to sort trash correctly, but it sure would help. The first 3 times I saw a diagram in a public place on how to sort trash, I took a photo. Then I typed it up, printed it out, and posted it on my fridge so we can figure out what to put in the 4 labeled bins in the kitchen. That's a lot, but it works and it's definitely better than building landfills. It has a down side tho. People who can't figure it out, find the proper receptacle, or are just lazy, throw their trash anywhere. When we arrived, our trash bin was full of rained-on loose trash that someone saw the opportunity to get rid of. We had to shovel it out, sort it, bag it, and put it out properly. Gross. After the second time, we put a padlock on our trash bin. My road is full of trash thrown out the window of passing cars and scattered by the wind. I pick it up to find more the next day. That, I don't find in the US.
The health care system is also very different. I had a small medical problem while there, which I discovered at bedtime. In Virginia, I would have driven to the 24-hour pharmacy. In Nova Scotia, I searched online for overnight choices, but our emergency room is closed on Thursdays and the nearest open one is 2 hours away. So I just stayed home freaking out until morning. The next day, I appreciated very much that the local pharmacist is able to diagnose and treat small issues cheaply. I didn't have to make a doctor's appointment or pay that cost. It's a much more sensible system, but you have to be prepared. Now I know, so I bought a first-aid kit.
I find that individuals hold doors and are just as nice as they are in Virginia, except that the sales clerks call everyone "my dear" or "darling."
I found that people complained about their elected officials and the way their taxes are spent. BUT. There is not the public vitriol and the Us vs. Them. People complained about the actions of individuals; they didn't tar whole groups with the misdeeds of one or two. That definitely made for a calmer atmosphere. You could commiserate with someone that they were cheated without becoming angry at having to defend a whole ethnic group.
Sorry to hear about the experiences, but certain things are not easily accessible in the more rural parts of Canada, not unlike parts of the USA. If there are issues with how the garbage is managed, please contact the local town government to report it or to sort out the issue. Thanks
That is not a problem. I suppose those are some issues with Nova Scotia, given its size and distance from more developed parts of the country. It is worth highlighting problems and solutions to address them. I suppose locals either are complacent or got riled up with Trump's antics to focus on local issues that you pointed out.
My gregarious, exuberant American husband can be spotted as American at 30 paces when we are in Montreal. You can add that most Canadians don’t take up as much room, or oxygen in the room, as their neighbors to the South,
I have to agree (not about your husband!);-). It was even more obvious when I was visiting Sweden. Americans are noticeable a mile away, especially in a group ;-
I’m glad you made the move, welcome home! I’m boycotting everything American until the Mango Mussolini is gone, and his entire MAGA Republicans are defeated! I pray not just for us, for the rest of the world too that this will happen sooner than later!
This is spot on! Something you didn’t mention is that Canadians don’t throw trash around their towns or let it pile up beside their highways.
Within a couple of weeks of moving to the US I was shocked to see a fast food bag casually chucked out a car window on the freeway, and piles of trash along fences and roads. Not long after I arrived (job transfer) an architect driving to work in downtown San Francisco not far from me was shot in broad daylight. What I thought the US would be and what it was/is were quite different.
I prefer the Canadian sense of protecting the common good and that religious proselytizing is frowned upon. I also love that Canadians are naturally suspicious of slick blowhards.
For all the returnees (short- and long-term) the reverse culture shock is a real issue. It is a lot harder to go through than the original culture shock - because there you expect things to be different. When you *return* home, you expect to find things as you left them. And they are not. They have moved on - lately, not in a good direction. Our healthcare system is under even greater stress, and keeps getting worse. The anger in our big cities is palpable. Homelessness and drug problems are increasingly visible - this is a particular observation from Ottawa. I am making these observations based merely on periodic short trips back to Canada over the past few years. I am really scared what I will find when I return to live in Canada full time.
The healthcare system is under stress and made worse by Doug Ford in Ontario. Toronto does have a homeless problem that is more obvious as you travel outside downtown.
I cannot speak about what is happening in Ottawa but it seems like whatever the government is trying will take longer than expected or be undermined by the provinces due to the confederal nature of the government.
I was an American of 45 years' vintage when I first moved to Canada. Given that late date, I accepted early on that my star-spangled slip was going to show every damn time I moved. Canadians can smell Americans at 50 yards. There was no escaping this: full assimilation was never going to be an option. The best I could ever hope for was some kind of creative personal mash-up identity: Amerinadian, perhaps, or Canamerican?
One of the hardest lessons of that first year, now 20 years ago, was learning that my assertive, fast, hard-charging Silicon Valley-girl style was very unlikely to get me anything I wanted. Adding a stern-but-polite tone to your voice does not put people on notice of anything besides the fact that you're not a nice person. Escalating things to a supervisor is a total non-starter. Canadians can weaponize politeness like no one on earth -- sorry you're having such a rotten day -- and keep it up for as long as it takes for it to dawn on you who the actual asshole in this conversation is.
A few such lessons dished out by bureaucrats at places like Immigration Canada, RBC, and ICBC were enough to shame me into cutting that crap out.
After recently returning to Canada after some years away, I'm realizing how much of it actually did creep into my bones, and is still latent there. Being back has been much easier than I expected. America's so tense now that coming back north is like relaxing into a warm bath. The racial stuff just isn't here to anything remotely like the same degree. As you note: politics and religion are kept off the table, unless you're among trusted friends. People cut each other miles of slack. There are definitely judgy Canadians -- but there's also a lot of social inducement for them to keep their opinions to themselves (though beware the passive aggression as they find other ways to express their disapproval). I find "sorry" falling out of my mouth several times a day almost unconsciously, like I've been doing it all my life.
Unexpectedly, I seem to have cultivated a Canadian self now, after all. And she's one of the better parts of me. Since I plan to spend the rest of my life here, it's good to discover that she's someone I can live with.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Sara. I am close to that age when I moved back to Canada after living in HK and the USA before that. I suppose the time spent in HK helped get rid of some of the Americanisms and gradually helped me adjust my mindset of living and thinking differently. It also helped that I was mostly around open-minded people and foreigners who were progressive at the time.
Working a bit in customer service and dealing with customers was useful in handling people. At the call centre, I would tend to take my time dealing with rude or entitled callers or escalate to the team lead to handle, to avoid getting triggered or to focus on nicer callers per best practices. At the same time, being polite helped reduce the risk of the local bureaucracy from fucking with me, or it gave them a reason to be helpful when staff are dealing with shitty entitled PRC tourists or bratty Western expats.
It is also true that Canadians are polite to the point of being passive-aggressive. This means things tend to end badly if polite people are pissed off. With all that being said, living outside of America for an extended period helped with adjusting back when we had to move back to Canada. It is also a culture shock when dealing with Americans who now seem to be rude, lack empathy, or are cruel based on resentment or to assert their superiority. I am not living in America, and I am not sorry for it.
My mom was born Canadian. After about a decade in the US, she became a naturalized US citizen about 6 weeks before my birth In January of 1949.
I live near 3 US national parks and see many Canadian license plates. If time permits, I will introduce myself to engage in conversation.
A few observations about Canadian health care.
I have run into Canadians who are in the states for timely treatment. Apparently, waits for certain types of treatments are much longer in Canada than the States. I assume (but I don't recall asking) that these people are paying out of pocket for treatment in the US. Sometimes I have the sense that some Canadians believe that they will likely die before receiving limited advanced treatment in their home province.
My Uncle Frank loved his health care, but raged against doctor offices clogged with Blue Haired Old Ladies waiting for their monthly visit with the doctor. My own grandmother (Uncle Frank's mother) adored her monthly visit with "the nice young man" who patted her hand while her sick son had long waits to see a doctor.
Some of my American friends believe that Canadian health care is a free unlimited all you can eat Healthcare Buffet. It wasn't the case for Uncle Frank. He reached a certain birthday and that was the end of dialysis for everyone in BC. (That is how it was explained to me. This may be wrong.) Frank passed very quickly and was very angry about it. Maybe this is/was true and maybe it is/wasn't.
Finally, my belief is that Canadians have an exaggerated view of the short comings of US health care. Americans who want Canadian type health care are prone to exaggerate "The Horrors" of US based health care to try to sell the benefits of Canadian health care.
I would appreciate any feedback general or specific feedback on these points.
Dental care, mental health and some specialist treatment aren't covered. That is usually covered by extended insurance from the employer or purchasing supplemental insurance.
In some cases provincial healthcare may refer patients to the US and pay for treatment. It's possible Canadians who can afford it are going overseas to places like Thailand, Malaysia or even the US for treatment if they are on a waitlist.
Covid burned out a lot of healthcare professionals. Foreign medical professionals who wanted to work in Canada had to wait years to get approved or had to redo their studies depending on the situation. BC recently fast tracked approval for American doctors while Ontario is still clowning around with the bureaucracy despite a shortage in the province.
I suppose if you have the money, a good employer plan, and like the healthcare private market, the USA is good for healthcare. Otherwise more practical to wait for specialist treatment if it's not life threatening or book a medical vacation abroad to places like Thailand or Malaysia who have doctors with Western medical degrees or equivalent.
My experience with medical treatment in Canada is positive. When I was having severe angina attacks, I was quickly hospitalized and within a day or two had had five bypasses when I required a heart valve replacement there was virtually no delay. I didn’t wait to get into the hospital, I was operated on in the morning Convalesce for the afternoon and release the next day and it didn’t cost me a penny.
I remain jealous yet happy for you, as well as hopeful of returning sooner than later. Though I haven’t lived in Canada in 33 years, I miss it viscerally. The day-to-day reality of living in a red state with the next presidential wannabe at the helm, constant gun violence, ever-growing ignorance, and pressure to kowtow to the kumquat and his minions, keeps me in knots and makes me homesick for the country that I consider home. One day soon, I’ll return.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and please stay safe as the situation there seems to be tense. If or when you do move back, please keep in mind the situation here also has its different set of challenges, such as cost of living issues, housing issues, and strained healthcare due to COVID and government misalignment.
Healthcare in Canada is an issue and differs, depending on where you live but one thing that is different than the United States. If you break a leg, you don’t end up bankrupt.
Yes, I've seen that housing is close to 2x and can be difficult to find in smaller towns. Homes are much older and 1/2 the size, but I'm willing to exchange the space & stuff I clean for the ability to enroll my child in a school without active shooter drills, mandated displays of the NKJV 10 Commandments, an actual education, and a medical safety net. Safety is on my mind always; that blows my mind!
New King James Version of the Bible. Our governor, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, claims to be Evangelical Christian. If you recall, she was one of the most vocal critics of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Paris, confusing the Dionysus feast for the Last Supper of Christ. Her Daddy is the former governor and now the delegate of Israel. She’s on the Gulf of America bandwagon and insists that African American history is not US History. She doesn’t care to follow separation of church and state.
It’s made to sound like Canadians are a bland and unexpressive lot. This is hardly the case. Politeness shouldn’t be conflated with absence of strongly-held ideas. The vast influx of immigrants comprising more than half of its population beginning in the 50s has within a generation transformed into a dynamic progressive society, It’s no longer the bastion of the Anglo settlers and the Quebecois have been given their due. The right wing populism of the Blue States has no similar counterpart in Canada where even the conservatives in the Lockean sense are far more informed and enlightened and refer to themselves as progressive.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Lifelong Canadian here. I still hope that Canada is the future.
One suggestion about adapting here: learn to love the landscape - summer, fall, winter, spring - not for its expansiveness (a la Texas or Montana) but for its beauty and steadfastness.
We have to be the future or else risk becoming a US territory despite people in Alberta supporting the idea
I lived in Ontario for not quite 6 years. Moved up there from the Southern US. I noticed several of the things that you mentioned above and also a few others. When it comes to citizens' views of “common good” types of initiatives, the US attitude is largely “why should we?” whereas the Canadian attitude is closer to “why wouldn’t we?” I think the US could learn a lot from Canada in that regard.
However, there are also a few differences that swing more in US’s favor. Canadian politeness often comes across as performative in the sense that they’re always walking on egg shells, terrified of speaking their minds and telling you what they really think, lest they mildly offend someone. Getting a Canadian to be honest and direct with you (i.e., tell you what they really think, give valuable but critical feedback, etc.) is like pulling teeth with a pair of flimsy tweezers. Very frustrating at times.
Related to that point, another difference I noticed between the South (US) and Canada: Southerners are friendly, but not always nice (total strangers will chat you up wherever you go, but they also have no problem telling you exactly what they think). Canadians are nice, but they’re not always friendly (this goes back to the performative aspect; the politeness seems more ritualistic than sincere, and there's often not much attempt to connect on a more human, personable level outside of the ritualistic politeness).
Hi Shane, and thanks for sharing your take on life in Ontario and Canada. In the USA, the attitude is basically very individualistic, and they will only help out when it is convenient for them. In here, it is both for community interest and for personal benefits as an added plus.
The performative aspect is more about being presentable, and they are more likely to open up once they trust and know you better. Justin Trudeau is a really bad example of a performative Canadian, as someone who looks good on camera but stops caring once the media moves on. Whereas Americans tend to open up at first, and then speak their mind after knowing you.
It is annoying at times, but I have to treat everyone as a friendly acquaintance rather than a friend at this stage. That could change in time as people get to know each other or not. Sadly, I got used to the revolving door of friends after living in NYC and HK.
Is NYC the only place in the US that you've lived for any extended period of time? If so...it is a very poor representation of the overall US. I have also lived/worked there and it is completely its own world and largely divorced from typical American life and from the personalities/attitudes of typical Americans.
NJ/NY and know it is different from the rest of the country
Good observations!
Thanks for reading!
As a Quebecker (bilingual French Canadian, if you prefer), I must admit that your analysis is very good and most interesting. It struck me when you mentioned that “Canada runs on bureaucracy and paperwork matters.” I wonder what could be said about France, Italy, and other European countries that are so much more intense in this regard. In any case, I prefer this image of us to that of the United States, which is, according to what we hear, a country of lawsuits and lawyers for every little thing. Allow me to sing my own praises and add that Montreal is the capital of arts and culture, a refuge for many artists from the rest of Canada (known as the ROC), social justice, and living together! Warm regards to you and welcome to our world!
Yes thank you for sharing your thoughts. I wrote about Quebec as well in a separate article
I grew up in Canada (81-95) before my family moved to the states. I moved back from 07-10 and then found my way back to the states and now I am considering returning home. A very timely read and find on substack. You've got yourself a new subscriber!
Thanks, and I grew up in Canada in the mid-80s before moving to the US for personal reasons in the 90s. Then moved to HK not long after the GFC and moved back to Canada a few years ago. I reckon the bigger transition is shifting away from an American cultural mindset into one that is more open-minded, if not distinctly Canadian. It means looking out for neighbours as an individual and ditching the cruel and arrogant mentality.
We have lived in Canada all summer this year. Love it! I summered here throughout most of my childhood, and it is my dream fulfilled to do it again. It's tricky to compare Canada and the US, since both are vast countries with many different sub-cultures, plus both have rural, suburban, and urban areas. Here's my experience coming from suburban Virginia to small-town Nova Scotia.
I appreciate the appreciation of all cultures.
The small-town culture was frustrating at first because we arrived on a Friday. We couldn't buy a chair or a lawn mower for 2 days so we had no place to sit or walk. However, once we got used to that, we knew to prepare for the weekend ahead of time. Now we know to arrive on a weekday so we can buy groceries.
We also learned the hard way that nothing gets shipped to you outside of Amazon, so not to buy online. Even tho the local stores don't carry very much, it's faster to buy local, let them order it, and pick it up twice a week, than to believe the promises of online retailers that tell you it will arrive tomorrow. We slept on the floor for 2 weeks while, putting their name out there, Sleep Country, told me daily that my mattress was arriving "tomorrow." "Buy Local" isn't just a slogan, it's a necessity.
The biggest difference I noticed in laws was in trash removal and healthcare.
I appreciate the concern for the environment. I cringed when I came back to Virginia to find cashiers packing groceries in plastic bags. In Nova Scotia, it may not be necessary to take a college class to learn how to sort trash correctly, but it sure would help. The first 3 times I saw a diagram in a public place on how to sort trash, I took a photo. Then I typed it up, printed it out, and posted it on my fridge so we can figure out what to put in the 4 labeled bins in the kitchen. That's a lot, but it works and it's definitely better than building landfills. It has a down side tho. People who can't figure it out, find the proper receptacle, or are just lazy, throw their trash anywhere. When we arrived, our trash bin was full of rained-on loose trash that someone saw the opportunity to get rid of. We had to shovel it out, sort it, bag it, and put it out properly. Gross. After the second time, we put a padlock on our trash bin. My road is full of trash thrown out the window of passing cars and scattered by the wind. I pick it up to find more the next day. That, I don't find in the US.
The health care system is also very different. I had a small medical problem while there, which I discovered at bedtime. In Virginia, I would have driven to the 24-hour pharmacy. In Nova Scotia, I searched online for overnight choices, but our emergency room is closed on Thursdays and the nearest open one is 2 hours away. So I just stayed home freaking out until morning. The next day, I appreciated very much that the local pharmacist is able to diagnose and treat small issues cheaply. I didn't have to make a doctor's appointment or pay that cost. It's a much more sensible system, but you have to be prepared. Now I know, so I bought a first-aid kit.
I find that individuals hold doors and are just as nice as they are in Virginia, except that the sales clerks call everyone "my dear" or "darling."
I found that people complained about their elected officials and the way their taxes are spent. BUT. There is not the public vitriol and the Us vs. Them. People complained about the actions of individuals; they didn't tar whole groups with the misdeeds of one or two. That definitely made for a calmer atmosphere. You could commiserate with someone that they were cheated without becoming angry at having to defend a whole ethnic group.
My experience. I would definitely live there.
Sorry to hear about the experiences, but certain things are not easily accessible in the more rural parts of Canada, not unlike parts of the USA. If there are issues with how the garbage is managed, please contact the local town government to report it or to sort out the issue. Thanks
I realized that my comment seemed more negative than I intended, so I edited it. Thanks for making me see that.
That is not a problem. I suppose those are some issues with Nova Scotia, given its size and distance from more developed parts of the country. It is worth highlighting problems and solutions to address them. I suppose locals either are complacent or got riled up with Trump's antics to focus on local issues that you pointed out.
My gregarious, exuberant American husband can be spotted as American at 30 paces when we are in Montreal. You can add that most Canadians don’t take up as much room, or oxygen in the room, as their neighbors to the South,
I have to agree (not about your husband!);-). It was even more obvious when I was visiting Sweden. Americans are noticeable a mile away, especially in a group ;-
I hope he had a good time in Montreal
Always!
What a lovely and accurate article. Thank you!
Thank you again for your support and reading!
Could not have done it without subscribers like you =)
Excellent! Thank you for getting just right! 💪🏼🇨🇦
Thanks and the move was necessary despite having the option to return to the USA
I’m glad you made the move, welcome home! I’m boycotting everything American until the Mango Mussolini is gone, and his entire MAGA Republicans are defeated! I pray not just for us, for the rest of the world too that this will happen sooner than later!
Thanks and we've made an effort to buy Canadian whenever possible especially if its coming from the local store
This is spot on! Something you didn’t mention is that Canadians don’t throw trash around their towns or let it pile up beside their highways.
Within a couple of weeks of moving to the US I was shocked to see a fast food bag casually chucked out a car window on the freeway, and piles of trash along fences and roads. Not long after I arrived (job transfer) an architect driving to work in downtown San Francisco not far from me was shot in broad daylight. What I thought the US would be and what it was/is were quite different.
I prefer the Canadian sense of protecting the common good and that religious proselytizing is frowned upon. I also love that Canadians are naturally suspicious of slick blowhards.
I do see some littering around downtown from time to time but maybe not as extreme as in NYC
For all the returnees (short- and long-term) the reverse culture shock is a real issue. It is a lot harder to go through than the original culture shock - because there you expect things to be different. When you *return* home, you expect to find things as you left them. And they are not. They have moved on - lately, not in a good direction. Our healthcare system is under even greater stress, and keeps getting worse. The anger in our big cities is palpable. Homelessness and drug problems are increasingly visible - this is a particular observation from Ottawa. I am making these observations based merely on periodic short trips back to Canada over the past few years. I am really scared what I will find when I return to live in Canada full time.
The healthcare system is under stress and made worse by Doug Ford in Ontario. Toronto does have a homeless problem that is more obvious as you travel outside downtown.
I cannot speak about what is happening in Ottawa but it seems like whatever the government is trying will take longer than expected or be undermined by the provinces due to the confederal nature of the government.
Loved your article. Thanks.
Thanks for reading and your support
I was an American of 45 years' vintage when I first moved to Canada. Given that late date, I accepted early on that my star-spangled slip was going to show every damn time I moved. Canadians can smell Americans at 50 yards. There was no escaping this: full assimilation was never going to be an option. The best I could ever hope for was some kind of creative personal mash-up identity: Amerinadian, perhaps, or Canamerican?
One of the hardest lessons of that first year, now 20 years ago, was learning that my assertive, fast, hard-charging Silicon Valley-girl style was very unlikely to get me anything I wanted. Adding a stern-but-polite tone to your voice does not put people on notice of anything besides the fact that you're not a nice person. Escalating things to a supervisor is a total non-starter. Canadians can weaponize politeness like no one on earth -- sorry you're having such a rotten day -- and keep it up for as long as it takes for it to dawn on you who the actual asshole in this conversation is.
A few such lessons dished out by bureaucrats at places like Immigration Canada, RBC, and ICBC were enough to shame me into cutting that crap out.
After recently returning to Canada after some years away, I'm realizing how much of it actually did creep into my bones, and is still latent there. Being back has been much easier than I expected. America's so tense now that coming back north is like relaxing into a warm bath. The racial stuff just isn't here to anything remotely like the same degree. As you note: politics and religion are kept off the table, unless you're among trusted friends. People cut each other miles of slack. There are definitely judgy Canadians -- but there's also a lot of social inducement for them to keep their opinions to themselves (though beware the passive aggression as they find other ways to express their disapproval). I find "sorry" falling out of my mouth several times a day almost unconsciously, like I've been doing it all my life.
Unexpectedly, I seem to have cultivated a Canadian self now, after all. And she's one of the better parts of me. Since I plan to spend the rest of my life here, it's good to discover that she's someone I can live with.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Sara. I am close to that age when I moved back to Canada after living in HK and the USA before that. I suppose the time spent in HK helped get rid of some of the Americanisms and gradually helped me adjust my mindset of living and thinking differently. It also helped that I was mostly around open-minded people and foreigners who were progressive at the time.
Working a bit in customer service and dealing with customers was useful in handling people. At the call centre, I would tend to take my time dealing with rude or entitled callers or escalate to the team lead to handle, to avoid getting triggered or to focus on nicer callers per best practices. At the same time, being polite helped reduce the risk of the local bureaucracy from fucking with me, or it gave them a reason to be helpful when staff are dealing with shitty entitled PRC tourists or bratty Western expats.
It is also true that Canadians are polite to the point of being passive-aggressive. This means things tend to end badly if polite people are pissed off. With all that being said, living outside of America for an extended period helped with adjusting back when we had to move back to Canada. It is also a culture shock when dealing with Americans who now seem to be rude, lack empathy, or are cruel based on resentment or to assert their superiority. I am not living in America, and I am not sorry for it.
My mom was born Canadian. After about a decade in the US, she became a naturalized US citizen about 6 weeks before my birth In January of 1949.
I live near 3 US national parks and see many Canadian license plates. If time permits, I will introduce myself to engage in conversation.
A few observations about Canadian health care.
I have run into Canadians who are in the states for timely treatment. Apparently, waits for certain types of treatments are much longer in Canada than the States. I assume (but I don't recall asking) that these people are paying out of pocket for treatment in the US. Sometimes I have the sense that some Canadians believe that they will likely die before receiving limited advanced treatment in their home province.
My Uncle Frank loved his health care, but raged against doctor offices clogged with Blue Haired Old Ladies waiting for their monthly visit with the doctor. My own grandmother (Uncle Frank's mother) adored her monthly visit with "the nice young man" who patted her hand while her sick son had long waits to see a doctor.
Some of my American friends believe that Canadian health care is a free unlimited all you can eat Healthcare Buffet. It wasn't the case for Uncle Frank. He reached a certain birthday and that was the end of dialysis for everyone in BC. (That is how it was explained to me. This may be wrong.) Frank passed very quickly and was very angry about it. Maybe this is/was true and maybe it is/wasn't.
Finally, my belief is that Canadians have an exaggerated view of the short comings of US health care. Americans who want Canadian type health care are prone to exaggerate "The Horrors" of US based health care to try to sell the benefits of Canadian health care.
I would appreciate any feedback general or specific feedback on these points.
Dental care, mental health and some specialist treatment aren't covered. That is usually covered by extended insurance from the employer or purchasing supplemental insurance.
In some cases provincial healthcare may refer patients to the US and pay for treatment. It's possible Canadians who can afford it are going overseas to places like Thailand, Malaysia or even the US for treatment if they are on a waitlist.
Covid burned out a lot of healthcare professionals. Foreign medical professionals who wanted to work in Canada had to wait years to get approved or had to redo their studies depending on the situation. BC recently fast tracked approval for American doctors while Ontario is still clowning around with the bureaucracy despite a shortage in the province.
I suppose if you have the money, a good employer plan, and like the healthcare private market, the USA is good for healthcare. Otherwise more practical to wait for specialist treatment if it's not life threatening or book a medical vacation abroad to places like Thailand or Malaysia who have doctors with Western medical degrees or equivalent.
My experience with medical treatment in Canada is positive. When I was having severe angina attacks, I was quickly hospitalized and within a day or two had had five bypasses when I required a heart valve replacement there was virtually no delay. I didn’t wait to get into the hospital, I was operated on in the morning Convalesce for the afternoon and release the next day and it didn’t cost me a penny.
I remain jealous yet happy for you, as well as hopeful of returning sooner than later. Though I haven’t lived in Canada in 33 years, I miss it viscerally. The day-to-day reality of living in a red state with the next presidential wannabe at the helm, constant gun violence, ever-growing ignorance, and pressure to kowtow to the kumquat and his minions, keeps me in knots and makes me homesick for the country that I consider home. One day soon, I’ll return.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and please stay safe as the situation there seems to be tense. If or when you do move back, please keep in mind the situation here also has its different set of challenges, such as cost of living issues, housing issues, and strained healthcare due to COVID and government misalignment.
Healthcare in Canada is an issue and differs, depending on where you live but one thing that is different than the United States. If you break a leg, you don’t end up bankrupt.
Doug Ford is breaking Ontario
My cousins (in BC) tell me that housing costs are crippling unless you bought 25 years ago.
Yes that is a real problem
Yes, I've seen that housing is close to 2x and can be difficult to find in smaller towns. Homes are much older and 1/2 the size, but I'm willing to exchange the space & stuff I clean for the ability to enroll my child in a school without active shooter drills, mandated displays of the NKJV 10 Commandments, an actual education, and a medical safety net. Safety is on my mind always; that blows my mind!
NKJV ???
New King James Version of the Bible. Our governor, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, claims to be Evangelical Christian. If you recall, she was one of the most vocal critics of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Paris, confusing the Dionysus feast for the Last Supper of Christ. Her Daddy is the former governor and now the delegate of Israel. She’s on the Gulf of America bandwagon and insists that African American history is not US History. She doesn’t care to follow separation of church and state.
We have a separate school system in Ontario that has Catholic icons or images in the schools
Yes it's possible if you can afford it and find good work. The housing and job market are a real pain point right now, just to set expectations